‘My 28-year-old girlfriend really isn’t interested in my children at all’

Dear Coleen

I’m a man aged 40 and divorced with two young children.

Since October last year, I’ve been in a relationship with a younger woman, who’s 28.

She’s stunning and I love her ‘My personality – really good fun and lighthearted, which is a breath of fresh air as my marriage ended badly and I still have a difficult relationship with my ex.

The only problem – and it’s a big one – is that she really isn’t interested in my children at all.

She doesn’t engage with them beyond “hello” and always makes excuses not to see me when they’re around.

I can’t help feeling really hurt by this because, obviously, I love them more than anything and think they’re great, and they’ve also been through a lot with the divorce.

But she’s so impatient and intolerant whenever my kids are around that it’s making me see her in a whole new light – and it’s not good.

I keep thinking she can’t be a nice person if she behaves like this.

I’ve fallen for her in a big way, but I just can’t see past the fact she’s so unwilling to make any kind of effort with my children.

What do you think?

Do we have a future or am I wasting my time?

Coleen says

This woman is giving you what you need now after a horrible divorce – she’s light and fun.

However, I think you have to think carefully about the long term and, let’s be honest, are you really going to spend your life with a person who’s so intolerant of your kids?

This relationship might provide a great bridge from your marriage and if that’s all it is then don’t try to involve her with your kids.

Keep the two bits of your life separate.

See her and have a fun, then when you have your children enjoy your time together without her being there aswell.

Your children are always going to be a priority and your girlfriend needs to know and accept that.

It’s a package deal!

And any woman who genuinely loves you and wants to spend her life with you will get that and be sensitive to your feelings around your kids.

More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems

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