Name: Sweatworking.
Age: Five years old, approximately.
Appearance: Moist.
I’m guessing this is a sweaty kind of networking. That’s right. You’re getting good at this.
Sweaty through fear? I’m often very frightened when I have to talk to people. No. This is the sweat that comes from exercise. The idea is to have informal meetings while working out, instead of bonding in the traditional ways, such as getting drunk.
I get sweaty when I’m drunk sometimes. Will that do? Not really. It has to be the healthy kind of sweating. The idea has been around since at least 2011, but now UK Active has said it should be normal practice.
What is UK Active? It’s a trade body that represents gyms and suchlike. It lobbies to get “more people more active more often”.
A noble aim that by coincidence would also make its members richer? That’s right. But it’s still a good thing. British office workers don’t do enough exercise, as you may know.
I sure do. It’s one of the best things about my job! There’s quite a lot of evidence that it may be killing you as well.
Am I not going to die anyway? Yes, but sitting still for hours makes you die sooner. A study in the Lancet last month found that it takes an hour of brisk exercise every day to offset the effect of eight hours’ sitting. Finding an extra hour each day isn’t easy, however, which is where sweatworking comes in.
So what, we all jog on the spot in the meeting room? Not exactly. You might book a spinning class at a gym nearby, or bring a trainer into the office, or just run round the park together.
Yeah. Might. UK Active wants the government to give tax breaks to companies who promote this kind of thing.
I bet it does. The company’s boss, Steven Ward, says sweatworking also works miracles on team bonding and creativity, “thanks to the release of endorphins”.
Plus you get to see your colleagues looking physically broken, then intimidate them by saying: ‘I could do another lap.’ You need some more endorphins, I think.
Do say: “Sorry, I can’t make the 10am meeting. I forgot my trainers.”
Don’t say: “Those are good points, Gary. I’ll explain right after I throw up in this bin.”
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