Name: Huw Edwards.
Age: 56.
Appearance: Diminishing.
Whaaat?! Huw’s not leaving us, is he? He can’t! He’s a BBC stalwart. A figurehead. And possibly the last known grownup operating in public life. Calm thyself, dear heart, calm thyself. I meant diminishing only in the sense of getting smaller.
It’s too hot for this. Explain thyself. Edwards has lost weight.
We knew that. We saw him looking slim and lovely when he was presenting Harry and Meghan’s wedding eight years ago. It was in May.
God, was it really? Sorry, the heat and the world are really messing with me at the moment. As with us all, believe me.
But – back to Huw. What’s occurring? He has just posted pictures on Instagram showing himself shirtless.
And? It’s … good. Not Poldark-good but definitely 56-year-old news anchorman good. There’s lean muscle. There’s a good jawline. There’s a hard, confident stare down the camera lens. It all works quite nicely.
How has he achieved this transformation? Boxing, apparently. The picture shows him after a training session at Dulwich Hamlet Football Club, posing next to his instructor, the former professional boxer Clinton McKenzie.
Sweaty? Definitely.
Excellent. Wait – should we be objectifying someone like this? Probably not, but we’re not alone. Social media has enjoyed doing so immensely. The Twitter user Mollie Goodfellow spoke for many when she wrote: “Can we talk about Huw Edwards’ rebrand as a thirst Insta account?”
Thirst? Attention-seeking and/or successfully inspiring lustful thoughts in viewers. It’s young-person slang.
Oh good. I’m glad they’re still using words. Though possibly not that they’re deployed to perve over a father figure in the semi-buff. Let it go. There are bigger problems in the world.
And will Huw still be reporting them? Or does a career on Love Island or I’m a Celebrity beckon now that it has been discovered that the too, too solid flesh has melted and a silver fox with abdominal definition has sashayed out from beneath? There have been no murmurings yet. Although, obviously, one must always stay alert. There will undoubtedly be TV temptations presented to the presenter that have never been presented before.
You know what, though? I sort of miss cuddly Huw. Avuncular rather than sexy. You sort of felt you might have a shot – at least at sharing a Twix. Not any more, babe.
Do say: “Kudos to the man embracing a holistically healthy lifestyle.”
Don’t say: “I’d get in the ring and go six rounds with that.”
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