They always say if you start dreaming in a foreign language you can call yourself truly fluent. Well, I woke up running the other morning, my legs cycling under the duvet, my arms flashing around, powering me to my imaginary finish line. Running lying down, like an overturned beetle.
Maybe it’s a good sign. Less than 17 days to go to the marathon and I’ve become a professional. And in a crazy way it got me thinking – if I win the marathon I will pocket £40,000. Break the world record as well and I’d get around £91,000. It’s not a bad incentive to give up journalism and train for the rest of my life. And I’m not without some natural talent. I have memories of sprinting the 100 metres at school in less than 15 seconds.
My fantasy is cut short. I remember a conversation I had a few weeks ago with Bud Baldaro, an English teacher at a Midlands school who doubles up as one of Britain’s best running consultants. He put my achievement into perspective.
He told me the men’s winner of last year’s London Marathon, Antonio Pinto, crossed the line in a time of 2:06:36. Pinto ran 26.2 miles – about 42,150 metres – in just over 126 minutes. Effectively he ran the 100 metres in 18 seconds, 421 and a half times – back to back, no stopping, no rest.
I shall not despair. Instead I’m concentrating on the big day and what it will bring. I open a helpful marathon fact pack to learn strange things. Apparently there will be 68 ambulances on standby during the race, plus 500 stretchers. For reasons discussed last week 88lbs of petroleum jelly will be available on the course (recap: nipples, rubbing). There will also be 710,000 bottles of water and 120,000 packs of a branded isotonic drink.
But most interesting is that a 26.2-mile line will be marked on the road using 300 litres of paint. It will take me past 76 pubs and when I cross the finishing line I will stagger into a happy nest of 34,000 sandwiches – some of them cheese – made for the runners. What a dream.
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