- In April, Brittany Kolb's three-week-old son, Elias, died from congenital diaphragmatic hernia, a birth defect.
- To honor her baby's memory, Kolb continued pumping breast milk to donate to sick babies in need.
- The Kansas City mother ended up donating about 600 ounces of milk to benefit NICU babies.
- "It was comforting to know that even though my baby was gone, his life made an impact on others," Kolb said.
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After her baby, Elias, died in April, Brittany Kolb and her husband took turns holding their three-week-old son for the rest of the day. It was the first time the Kansas City couple was able to embrace their baby without him ensnared in wires or tubes.
Within a couple of hours, the pain started to set in. Kolb's breasts had become engorged because it was already past the time she was due to express. As Kolb pressed the pumping device to her breast, she felt even more devastated.
"Pumping milk that I knew my baby would never have the chance to drink was gut-wrenching," Kolb told Insider.
A lactation consultant came to the hospital room and offered Kolb tips on how to dry up her breast milk supply.
Kolb, who also has a two-year-old son, said she cried throughout the exchange, as her husband sat by her side with Elias in his arms.
After her infant died, Brittany Kolb decided to donate breast milk to sick babies in need
Brittany Kolb
The consultant then suggested an alternative. Kolb could continue to pump breast milk for a period of time and donate it to medically compromised babies in need.
As Kolb mulled over the idea, she realized that she had already stockpiled a significant stash that was being stored in the NICU. The milk would help sick babies who can't tolerate formula, or may benefit from breast milk's nutrients, but aren't able to get any, or enough, from their mothers. It was also a way for Kolb to honor Elias' memory.
"I thought of all the babies that could benefit from it," Kolb told Insider. "I was honored to be able to give it to other fragile babies that needed it."
Kolb connected with the Mother's Milk Bank Austin to get started. Throughout the extensive donor approval process, which involved numerous screenings and blood tests, Kolb pumped religiously. She produced so much milk that she ran out of freezer space in her home, and ended up storing bags of milk in several friends' freezers.
In the end, Kolb donated about 600 ounces of breast milk.
The bereaved mother said she felt the finality of her son's death
While Kolb felt fulfilled, she also grappled with the feeling of finality.
"Handing all of my milk over…reminded me again that my baby would not be coming home," Kolb said.
When Kolb was 18 weeks pregnant, she and her husband went to their doctor for Kolb's anatomy scan, thinking the only news they were going to learn was the baby's gender. That's when they found out that their baby's stomach was situated in his chest, an indication that he might have Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia (CDH).
It's a birth defect where the diaphragm, the muscle that separates the chest from the abdomen, doesn't close properly in utero. This allows the contents of the abdomen — the stomach, and liver — to move into the chest, which hinders lung development. The survival rate for babies with CDH is 50%.
When Elias was born in April, he was intubated, put on a ventilator, and taken straight to the NICU. Three days later, the baby was put on extracorporeal membrane oxygenation (ECMO), a form of life support, and had two surgeries. Kolb had to get permission to even touch her baby because he would get easily agitated and his vitals would drop.
Trace Kolb
He improved for a week, and then started to decline again. Kolb said the doctors were upfront at that point about the fact that Elias had suffered significant brain damage and that there weren't any additional medical interventions to try.
Even still, Kolb said that she and her husband remained hopeful for a miracle.
When Elias died, Kolb said having known death was a possibility didn't prepare her for this level of grief, she said.
But donating breast milk has given Kolb a measure of comfort.
"It was comforting to know that even though my baby was gone," Kolb said, "his life made an impact on others."
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