The Problem with online Dating is for Single-Coach Eric Hegmann, that you stay on for too long.
And it behaves in the network are also different – one is braver than in real life. And you overestimate yourself.
His advice is very simple: You should pick up the phone, order the Match to call, says the couple of consultants, Single-Coach, and Blogger from Hamburg, in an Interview with the dpa-themed service.
Mr. Hegmann, there is online Dating different set of rules than Offline Dating?
Eric Hegmann: The rules differ when the contact is only minimal, but in a point very thoroughly. The choice of a partner is determined on this planet of the female creatures.
This means, in the case of a flirtation, for example, in a Bar, would the man who does not want to be grip and the power sent halfway, on the invitation of the woman waiting – she is smiling or your body language or indeed, a sentence Express an interest.
Then he would reach out to you.
The woman provokes the man to the first step. This is not on the Internet, of course, transferable. This leads also to the fact that the average man is often the big loser of the Online Dating.
How come?
Hegmann: To do this, there was recently a study to Tinder users. The average man will be contacted by the women and he receives little response.
Because his profile isn’t very noticeable, and because the appeal is not sufficient.
It is, Yes, similar attractiveness putting on. Especially since it is offline also a bit shy, based more on eye-level.
But the Internet enticed many people to Orient to the top – so especially to the quite a few efforts, which are particularly attractive.
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You should create Online profile aware more attractive?
Hegmann: I don’t know whether it is what is in the presentation of change should be, but the search behavior.
I would ask myself: what is it to me really good to search for a difficult-to-reach Partner? What is the power with me? What makes my self-esteem when I constantly experience rejection?
I think an injured self-value comes, in the meantime, in the case of Singles is already very apparent.
Since our passes self-worth on our attachment behavior, developing many of the protection strategies, in order not to be hurt again. This is quite normal.
This means, for example, to make his profile more attractive. Or there is developed a lack of confidence to get to Know.
Or you will stay alone for a long time, until we find who fits the 150-percent one. But these are all the protection strategies, the result is wonderful that you are staying alone.
How can I strengthen my confidence in a Match, and disappointments on a Date to avoid?
Hegmann: I have the impression that people are calling not more, before you meet.
How can that be? What’s stopping you to check the first positive impression of the profile before you contact directly, only to experience a disappointment?
I suspect that there is a lot of fear of rejection and that you believe in, to be able to Chat and text quite a lot to clarify.
But In reality it only extends the projection surface, because everything that we do not have someone know that we fill up with hopes and expectations – and in the case of very pessimistic people with experience.
But that is nothing what this Person is really.
Clearly, this is not a call to solve, but you get quite a bit more. I do not wonder, therefore, always, why, actually, before the Meeting of this control mechanism works.
Deutsche Presse-Agentur (dpa)
*The post “talking on the Phone instead of chat: So to avoid disappointments in Online Dating” is published by FitForFun. Contact with the executives here.