‘My boyfriend dumped me and then moved on with my mate’

Dear Coleen

My boyfriend ended our relationship a few weeks ago. We had been together for two years, so we’d built a life together and I was hoping we’d have a happy future too.

He said he’d come to realise he didn’t want a serious relationship with me and threw in the old chestnut of “it’s not you, it’s me”.

It felt like an excuse to be honest.

I have tried as best I can to move on and I’ve been doing pretty well, but then I found out he’s been seeing a really good friend of mine.

Neither of them had the decency to tell me – I had to find out through another friend.

I’m devastated and keep wondering if he was thinking about my friend while he was with me or even if they’d slept together when I was with him.

My friend has since called me to apologise and smooth things over but I’m too upset to talk to her. I feel so angry about it all.

Have you any ideas on how I can feel better about this?

Coleen says

I can identify with what you’re feeling because I was in a similar situation with one of my sisters who started dating a guy I lived with for two years.

The way I handled it was to think, “Well, we split up for a reason and it wouldn’t have worked”, and I didn’t want it to ruin the relationship I had with my sister.

This thing between your ex and your friend might not last, but whether it does or not, make a conscious effort to stop thinking about it every time it enters your head. Moving on with your own life is what will make you feel better and happier.

Getting over heartbreak is always tough and you might have to force yourself to go out when you don’t want to, but one day you’ll be glad you didn’t end up with a guy who took two years to tell you he didn’t want a relationship.

As for your friend, once you feel ready, you could have a chat if you want questions answered, but it won’t change the outcome. The key thing is to move forward and be positive.

More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems

Source: Read Full Article